[Fiction] Friday: Gregor the Rat
[Fiction] Friday Challenge #145 for 5th March, 2010:
“When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin.” What has your character turned into?
Gregor the Rat
When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin.
His eyes shot open, darting back and forth, clutching onto familiar objects in his room, back to reality, back to normal.
But his beady little eyes drew down, over his absurd proportions of fur and animal limbs. His eyes grew wider.
What have I become? He whispered to himself. His lip quivered, shaking his whole face, the reverberations shooting down through his whole body, shaking, tugging at his arms splayed outward like he was being crucified.
He cried out when he found his arms couldn’t break free. He wasn’t nailed to a cross, more chained to his bed but the trajectory of the story seemed to be the same, illustrated by his shaking lip, face and body becoming more and more out of control.
“Help!” he cried out looking toward the door of his bedroom but no one came. His eyes crossed over the closet.
My chest squeezed tight and then further, snapping shut, as his eyes made contact with mine.
I couldn’t help but grin, the pathetic rat creature he was looked so helpless, so unlike Gregor. And as I stepped out of the closet, he saw my grin, the shakes stopped, his body stunned.
“What did you do to me?” His face was blank. “Why did you do this to me?” Tears rolled down his cheek, betraying his effort to appear calm.
As I stepped slowly toward his bed, I slipped a hand into my coat. I watched his facial expressions closely, taking in every detail, every inflection of fear as each revelation seemed to turn it up a notch, eyes wider and wider until as I held by wand quivering with power over the top of him he seemed like he’d opened his eyes so wide that they were going to peel over the top of his face.
I smiled wider. I enjoyed it so much. It was payback.
“See,” his finger wagged, still in handcuffs, “I knew this would happen. This is why you all needed to be stopped. You were a danger.” I could tell it was eating him up that his wagging patronising finger couldn’t be wagged straight at me.
“No Gregor,” I said withholding a snigger, “This is what you’ve made us too, put our backs against the wall. What did you expect? We’d just lie down and take it?”
A laugh escaped me, burst out quickly. You should’ve seen him. His usual snivelling features were caricatures, now a rat nose twitched around in front of his sweating face. He looked ridiculous but being a vermin seemed to suit him, it was so much more fitting for his personality.
I pointed the wand at him, flicked my wrist and nothing. “Fuck.”
“It worked!” Gregor looked too happy for a man (or rat) tied to his bed.
I stalked around the bed. I wanted to be closer. I’d just do it there way. I’d assimilate. I’d adapt to their culture; their unmagical boring culture. No spells. Just actions.
“You still lose,” I screamed thrusting my bearded face forward, baring teeth.
My fist flew up, smashed down. The wand sliced through and the smell of rat thickened as he bled in his bed.
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Shudder…a man-sized rat. Good thing he was handcuffed!
Laura Eno´s last blog ..Surf’s Up – #FridayFlash
O.o Whoa Ben. This was heavy stuff. Angry man was the narrator. Eeek!
Carrie Clevenger´s last blog .."All of Me" #Fridayflash
I really like your descriptions of the rat – ‘beady little eyes’ is great! My stomach’s turning slightly at the thought of the smell of rat bleeding onto the bed.
NewToWritingGirl´s last blog ..Fiction Friday – 5th March
Rats seem to be popular this week. Interesting observer-narrator point-of-view. The facial features of the rat confused me somewhat. Did he retain his human face with only a rat’s nose, or was he fully rat?
Here’s my entry (no rat in it): http://mdbenoit.com/blog/2010/03/05/fiction-friday-dont-breathe/
Kafka move over, there’s a new rat king in town! This is a scary little story, Benjamin.
Simon.
I’d have liked to know the source of their feud so I’d know if they were both equally wretched, or if I should feel bad for Gregor. But it was well-written.
Rats, I hate it when a good story is over!
Cathy Olliffe´s last blog ..Torn Between Two Lovers
totally cool Ben, I also want to know more about the source of the feud etc
Jordan Humphreys´s last blog ..Philip K. Dick & The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch
Nicely done, Ben – remind me never to get you angry!
Kath Lockett´s last blog ..